Fashion Weak – a Special Report from Mavis Quinn

Fashion is IN!

Fashion is IN!

MEMO

To: Mavis Quinn

From:  Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

Message:  Cover Fashion Week for the magazine. Show the latest trends and the IN fashions. No budget for a fashion model, so take photos of yourself. No shenanigans this time!

MEMO

To: Marvin Quixote

From:  Mavis

Message:  Editor wants me to cover Fashion Weak. I always suspected that fashion was weak. Directed to cover what’s IN. Unclear what that means. Must do research. Will pick up anniversary gift for your parents while I am out. You’ll have to go to the Ecosystems of the Scottish Bogs lecture without me.  Shucks. Take good notes and we can discuss it over a Soy Chai Latte later.

Hello Dreary Readers, this is Mavis Quinn reporting from chic Walnut Creek’s Broadway Plaza Shopping Centre. Commonly referred to as Rodeo Drive North, Broadway Plaza sports high-end stores like Tiffany’s, Neiman Marcus, Macys, the Hallmark store and Bob’s Calendars and Games Emporium. And three Starbucks!  Wow!

Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine is always at the front of fashion trends and this time we are covering fashions that are IN and fashions that are weak.

Helene is IN!

hÉLÈnË is IN!

My first stop was a meeting with Nordstrom’s fashion director hÉLÈnË. (One name only – three accents)

She has some shopaholic debt that she is working off so she couldn’t afford a shirt, but she was wearing the IN item of the year: FUR (fake). She agreed to take me on a tour of her super duper store. (Could she have shaved her armpits? Really I mean, the pit hair was dark and blended into the vest, but please!?)

We toddled around the Point of Ew department and I learned that stripes are IN.

Stripes are IN

Stripes are IN

With the waist band around my neck and the shoulders a full foot taller than me, I think that, while IN, this look might be considered WEAK! It doesn’t matter that I am only 5 feet tall – that’s just not right.

hÉLÈnË took me to the Point of Zoo department next and informed me that FUR (fake) was the IN item this fall. Having never visited this department, I was very curious to see the IN fashions for animals.

Fur Scarf for a Horse is IN!

Fur Scarf for a Horse is IN!

Who knew?

Feather Boa for a deer is IN!

Feather Boa for a deer is IN!

Who knew?

Feathers for Frogs - IN!

Feathers for Frogs - IN!

Amazing!

And then we went to the Point of Pew department and, unfortunately, things got dicey!

hÉLÈnË took me to a particularly fragrant section of the store and showed me the latest IN fashions for humans.  Unfortunately, this intrepid reporter seems to be allergic to FUR (fake) and things began to turn for the worst. It started with a little watery eyes.

Black Fur is IN!

Black Fur is IN!

This Vinyl and FUR (fake) coat was hot – I mean I was pretty sweaty in this shot – and with the watery eyes came a dry mouth and an itchy nose.
.

Boots are IN!

Boots are IN!

This FUR (fake) vest was not as hot as the jacket, but this photo was taken right before the first big sneeze.  hÉLÈnË moved away a little and made a sour face.

She set me up with this next IN item, a stringy fur vesty thing, and she had me pose in front of a mirror real good for a super-fashionable photo.

Stringy Green Fur is IN!

Stringy Green Fur is IN!

As you can see a monster sneeze is about to happen and then the anaphylaxis began to set in. hÉLÈnË ran away in search of a towel for herself, and the last thing I remember was the fleeing site of her black armpit hair before I passed out on the cold store floor.

Fortunately, an innocent bystander ripped the FUR (fake) off of me in time and I was able to regain consciousness.

At that point I decided that perhaps I was just fashion weak and I snuck off before hÉLÈnË returned with a paramedic and the store’s security detail.

There was just a little shopping I had to do before I headed out…

Gift for Marvin's parents. IN!

Gift for Marvin's parents. IN!

Perfect for Myrtle and Myles Quixote’s 47th anniversary.

MEMO

To: Mavis Quinn

From:  Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

Message:  I said fashion WEEK!

MEMO

To: Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

From: Mavis Quinn

Message:  Oh, never mind.

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About maverickquilts

Artist, Author, Quilter View all posts by maverickquilts

2 responses to “Fashion Weak – a Special Report from Mavis Quinn

  • Eileen McNaughton

    Thanks Mavis, I’m rushing out the door to buy some fur (fake) so I can be IN!
    Hope hELEne is still working at Nordstrom so she can help. She may have been fired on the grounds of “hairy pits!” I’ll let you know…
    eileen

  • margarita san diego

    Really dead stuff how about a live snake??

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