Mavis Quinn – Pintrest – an online pin board for Cuckoos

Mavis Quinn
Mavis Quinn

Hi It’s me, Mavis Quinn, cub reporter for where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine.com.org.biz, on a big new assignment – the mega-hit of the internet PinDressed.

Super Fashion - lace guy
Super Fashion – lace guy

Wow, this is a super great place to see and share your photos, recipes, quotes, fashion and so much more!

According to Women’s Wear Daily, the averidge person spends 3.97 hours per day on this creative pinning site. And the non-averidge person spends .021 hours per day. (Average, Ed.)

Since receiving my assignment to cover PinkDreck, I have been pinning like a madmam.  It’s just amazing the things you can find when you look.

Spam - it's what for dinner at the Quinn house tonight!
Spam – it’s what for dinner at the Quinn house tonight!

I started with pinning great-looking food!

Bread gloves - why didn't I think of that?
Bread gloves – why didn’t I think of that?

I was especially impressed with the things that can be done with a piece of bread. Marvin is gluten free so I can’t do most of them, but one can always dream…

Post-Emergency-Room-Visit party idea - gotta try this!
Post-Emergency-Room-Visit party idea – gotta try this!

There are also a lot of things to make with sausage and super party ideas, too.

To see my PineDrink page about food, CLINK HERE.

PinnedWrist is really exclusive; you actually have to be invited to join. Editor sponsored me when I joined, and I can send the mega-site an invitation for you to join. Just send me $9.99, plus shipping and handling, and I’ll write you a letter of recommendation – if you’re not incarcerated at this time.

Swedish Baby fanny pack
Swedish Baby fanny pack

Many of PrimRest followers are young parents, looking for ideas of things to see and do with their offsprings. (Children, Ed.)

You can shave this baby!
You can shave this baby!

Marvin and I have two little kiddies, but they are of the guinea pig variety not the human kind, so I can’t do a lot of these things, but here’s my wishlist of things for if I could have had a happy childhood. To think, I could have a had a doll that I could shave the hair off of (its privates). No wonder I wasn’t a happy child.

Family photos with the pet - good idea
Family photos with the pet – good idea

With the site being a image-driven media there are a lot of ideas for family photography.  Spend some time checking out some of the poses!

Family photo
Family photo

Try them at your next family reunion or holiday.

My Organization and Home Ideas board is full of little tips for a better home.

Must shag carpet my bathroom
Must shag carpet my bathroom

Color My World is a super fun category to pin things to on PinGrist. I got so many ideas for things to wear and more family photo ideas, too!

Marvin would look great in all white
Marvin would look great in all white

The other part of the way the PynRest boards work is that you write a caption for each photo. People make up little faces with punctuation marks like ; – ) or {% o or (+ 7. I don’t know what they all represent, but maybe you’re cleverer then me. I write things like WANT! or MUST HAVE! or ARE YOU KIDDING ME – I DON’T HAVE ONE OF THESE YET I”M GOING TO HAVE TO GO RIGHT OUT AND GET ME ONE.

Want!
Want!
MUST HAVE
MUST HAVE
ARE YOU KIDDING ME - I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THESE YET I"M GOING TO HAVE TO GO RIGHT OUT AND GET ME ONE
ARE YOU KIDDING ME – I DON’T HAVE ONE OF THESE YET I”M GOING TO HAVE TO GO RIGHT OUT AND GET ME ONE

At the time of this post I have one follower and I’m very pleased about that. I really never thought I would get one. If you have some thing on PenTryst that you want me to see, or if you have comments or questions about anything you see here, please use the comments section below. But, no, I’ll just tell you in advance: Marvin and I don’t put photos of the guinea pigs online for you to gawk at. All other questions are welcome.

(Editor’s note: IT’S PINTREST!!! The beliefs, spellings, and ideas expressed here are solely those of Mavis Quinn and in no way reflect the values of Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine.com.org.biz. Mr. T was not harmed in the making of this post.)

The fine print: Editor wouldn’t let me include the Travel the WorldQuotable Quotes & Total Truths or the That’s Just So Right section of my PineTree board for reasons of a litigious nature, but you can see them all right here if you don’t tell her I told you to.

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Mavis Quinn – Bleat, Clay, Blubber

Mavis Quinn, Bleat, Clay, Blubber
Mavis Quinn, Bleat, Clay, Blubber

This is a Special Report by intenerate (illiterate, Ed.) cub reporter, Mavis Quinn…

Hello Dreary Readers,

I am happy to say that I am back, out of jail, on parole, and ready for my next assignment for my great magazine Where Cuckoo Women Create.com.org.biz.

As you may know my Editor-Who-Is-Large sent me on a year-long assignment called Bleat, Clay, Blubber, based upon a best-selling book by that name.

You see, Marvin had decided to “spend some time apart” from me so he could “delve more deeply into his analog radio repair business.” Where have I heard that before?

I was shattered to say the lease, so Editor thought it would be best for me to go abroad. She asked me to cover the wool industry in New Zealand, the pottery industry in China, and the whale bone jewelry of the peoples of southern Argentina. These places all seemed really, really far away, but what Editor wants Editor gets!

In the end what I really found was my inner fleece and the meaning of strife.

Read on…

Faithful companion, Tanya
Faithful companion, Tanya

For the first leg of the journey I spent three months in the wilds of New Zealand, living with a flock of sheep and a dog called Tanya.

Canned or fresh - there really is nothing like opossum for dinner!
Canned or fresh – there really is nothing like opossum for dinner!

I lived on opposum meat and kiwi fruit.

My flock of sheep - the little one was my favorite - Mitsy
My flock of sheep – the little one was my favorite – Mitsy

Not too much happened, but I am happy to report to you all that yes, sheep do indeed bleat. And often. AND LOUDLY! And they do have a lot of wool.

My ship - the Turpentine nosebleed, or something like that
My ship – the Turpentine Nosebleed, or something like that

The first mission accomplished and it wasn’t a day before I was shipped, and I mean on a ship – for seven weeks – to Mongolia to live in a yurt and explore where the best clay comes from. Who knew Mongolia had clay? I thought it was all dust storms and beef.

My Mongolian host family
My Mongolian host family

The first thing I realized is that there would be no yummy Mongolian Beef dinner like the stuff I get at my local Mongolian restaurant, The Dusty Yurt.

This might have been one of my sheep
This might have been one of my sheep

To “welcome” me to the village, my host family made me a special dinner – roasted whole lamb. It looked just like my favorite lamb Mitsy, and I burst into tears and ran out of the yurt!

After that I took to my grubby yurt bed and didn’t come out for a week.

When I did emerge, I set about the task my editor sent me on – finding good clay.

My Mongolian yurt and the "hills"
My Mongolian yurt and the “hills”

The locals were very kind and shared their clay with me by slathering it on my face each day, before sending me to “watch” for storms at the top of the highest hill.

KYRT Radio
KYRT Radio

It was not a happy time for me, as these people listen to the carpet radio all day and it just made me miss Marvin all the more. I begged Editor to send me elsewhere and she happily obliged.

The Kon Tiki - not as big as the Turpentine Nosebleed
The Kon Tiki – not as big as the Turpentine Nosebleed

Traveling alternately by ox cart, camel, rickshaw, the shoulders of a Yeti, the Kon Tiki, and a canoe carved out of an endangered Lupo tree, I arrived at the final leg of my journey, a stay with the native population of the Southern Argentinian coast.

My host family in Tierra del Fuego
My host family in Terra del Fuego

Meeting my host family was nice, but I really felt overdressed for the occasion.

They did have jewelry, but not so much whale bones. More feathers, actually.

Tierra del Fuego - My home for 37 days
Terra del Fuego – My home for 37 days

They had a lot more birds, and a few seals.

My host family in Tierra del Fuego in their Sunday best
My host family in Tierra del Fuego in their Sunday best

I didn’t understand a word they said, and I was very cold all of the time. Everyone got dressed up (in feathers) on Sundays (or Thursdays – I couldn’t be sure) and we all ate bird meat and seal meat and there was quite a bit of belching.

I couldn’t find much of that whale bone jewelry baloney and frankly I was tired of traveling around and stuff. So, I gathered up a pile of bones I found in an old building (The National Museum, Ed), and after my toes had completely frozen off, I packed my bags and headed home.

My trusty plane
My (t)rusty plane

This time I got to take a plane.

That’s where the trouble started. You see, I was on the plane with my pile of whale bones and someone got it into their head that I was a voodoo priceless or something (Priestess, Ed.)

The guys who arrested me
The guys who arrested me

So, when I got off the plane some police people took me in a little room and took all my whale bones away from me.

Apparently these are not whale bones
Apparently these are not whale bones

Then they arrested me and put me in a jail cell with a woman called Simone.

Apparently my bones were not those of a whale. How was I supposed to know that they were some national treasure of a dinosaur? Do I look like a Palintologist? (Paleontologist, Ed.)

Simone - my cellmate
Simone – my cellmate

Now Simone was a very interesting person who kept claiming that she was being falsely imprismed. (imprisoned – Ed.) But I know that I was the one who was not a criminal and that led to a fight where we slapped each other a very much lot and then my nose got broken and I had to go to the hospital and then Editor had to come and get me and she was mad. And when I say mad I mean really angry.

So next up she wants me to look into this computer thing called Pinetreerest. I think it’s about some green trees.

(The views expressed here are entirely those of Mavis Quinn and not our magazine. Any animals harmed in the making of this post are not our responsibility. Editor)

P.S. I miss Mitsy.

Where Cuckoo Women Create – Crafty Christmas Fair

Mavis Quinn, 2011 Holiday
Mavis Quinn, 2011 Holiday

Happy Holidays and Merry-Xmas from all of us here at Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz.

My latest assignment has been an utter joy to complete, as this is my favorite time of year.  I love the shopping, the traffic, the animated drivers and the compulsion to give gifts to everyone I have ever met and some that I’ve never met. Usually, I get my gifts online at Sharper Image (Great prices on personal grooming devices) and the Burlington Coat Factory (Loads of fur (fake) this year! So IN!). However, my editor has sent me out to see what Cuckoo Women are creating for this year’s Holiday Gift Boutiques, and I loved it! I was able to get a gift for absolutely everyone on my holiday list!

My first stop was the West Countie Crafters Holiday Gifte Boutique and Sweet Shoppe.

At the Boutique
At the Boutique

There were so many booths and vendors and I just loved walking through and seeing what everyone has created for this year’s holiday extravaganza! While I can’t possibly show you everything (especially since a strange lady in a Santa hat kept getting in my way and grabbing all the good stuff up and shoving it in her motorized scooter’s carrying basket), I can give you a rundown of the things that I especially liked.

Clown Nutcracker
Clown Nutcracker

Now, this hand-painted gift combines two of my ultimate favorite Christmas themes, the cheerful and positive nutcracker and the soothing and reassuring clown. I couldn’t pass by it without snapping a pic!

Bed Spring Tree Topper
Bed Spring Tree Topper

GO GREEN is a mantra of our modern society, so these clever tree toppers and ornaments made from old bed springs were just flying off the wooden barrel they were displayed upon.

I'm not sure, but heck, it's Christmasy
I'm not sure what it is, but heck, it's Christmasy

And this Santa-like skeleton thing – so seasonal!

Also in the GO GREEN holiday department were these fetching items:

Reused foil - thank you, Thanksgiving turkey!
Reused foil - thank you, Thanksgiving turkey!
Cotton Balls - thank you Macy's makeup counter girls
Cotton Balls - thank you Macy's makeup counter girls
Cotton Balls and Tongue Depressors, too - Thanks, Dr. Heller's phlebotomist
Cotton Balls and Tongue Depressors, too - Thanks, Dr. Heller's phlebotomist
Nothin' like a peanut ornament! Thanks to the Duckville Little League
Nothin' like a peanut ornament! Thanks to the Duckville Little League
Ohhh, a peanut gnome, how cute is that?
Ohhh, a peanut gnome, how cute is that?
Fall Garden Trimmings, thanks to the neighbor's green barrel left out on the streets on Wednesday Mornings!
Fall Garden Trimmings, thanks to the neighbor's green barrel left out on the streets on Wednesday Mornings!
Save your Jar Lids - they make CUUTE snowmen! Thanks, Auntie Marge
Save your Jar Lids - they make CUUTE snowmen! Thanks, Auntie Marge
Crafty Tree Topper - thanks to the Stunville School Custodial Staff
Crafty Tree Topper - thanks to the Stunville School Custodial Staff

Speaking of tree toppers, there was a whole booth of clever tree toppers at the faire!

A Red-Eyed Octopus Thing get's one in the holiday spirit, for sure!
A Red-Eyed Octopus Thing get's one in the holiday spirit, for sure!
I'll have the Blue Christmas, please!
I'll have the Blue Christmas, please!
Love Christmas, I do!
Love Christmas, I do!

I have to say that at the next booth I bought one of everything and crossed most of the people OFF of my list. Boy is that LIBERATING!

A Princess for my Niece Griselda
A Princess for my Niece Griselda
My niece Brunhilda loves glitter, so I had to get this for her!
My niece Brunhilda loves glitter, so I had to get this for her!
Santa Yoda for my cousin Yancy
Santa Yoda for my cousin Yancy
R2D2 delivering gifts for my dear friend Lynn
R2D2 delivering gifts for my dear friend Lynn
Marvin loves Chewbacca - perfect!
Marvin loves Chewbacca - perfect!
Stormtrooper for my nephew Stanley
Stormtrooper for my nephew Stanley
Bobba Fet for my nephew Bavid
Bobba Fett for my nephew Bavid
C3PO for my nephew Cedrick
C3PO for my nephew Cedrick
This guy is just perfect for my brother, Marlon
This guy is just perfect for my brother, Marlon
The Wool-Felted Aircraft I had to have for my tree - sorry relatives, they're MINE!
The Wool-Felted Aircraft I had to have for my tree - sorry relatives, they're MINE!
These cuties are also for my tree!
These cuties are also for my tree!

I couldn’t believe that I got so lucky this year! So many great gifts in one spot.

There were some other really interesting things that I saw, and, while I am not quite sure what they are, they look pretty special!

What?
What?
Humm?
Humm?
Um?
Um?
Really?
Really?
How?
How?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Well, dreary readers, that’s all for today. I have to take my pet chinchilla to the vet because he is making the most appalling sound- I think he ate my wool-felted Millennium Falcon. There goes the tree!

Editors note: No animals were harmed in the making of this post. The opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect the feelings and beliefs of this magazine. Some names were changed to protect the innocent.

Fashion Weak – a Special Report from Mavis Quinn

Fashion is IN!
Fashion is IN!

MEMO

To: Mavis Quinn

From:  Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

Message:  Cover Fashion Week for the magazine. Show the latest trends and the IN fashions. No budget for a fashion model, so take photos of yourself. No shenanigans this time!

MEMO

To: Marvin Quixote

From:  Mavis

Message:  Editor wants me to cover Fashion Weak. I always suspected that fashion was weak. Directed to cover what’s IN. Unclear what that means. Must do research. Will pick up anniversary gift for your parents while I am out. You’ll have to go to the Ecosystems of the Scottish Bogs lecture without me.  Shucks. Take good notes and we can discuss it over a Soy Chai Latte later.

Hello Dreary Readers, this is Mavis Quinn reporting from chic Walnut Creek’s Broadway Plaza Shopping Centre. Commonly referred to as Rodeo Drive North, Broadway Plaza sports high-end stores like Tiffany’s, Neiman Marcus, Macys, the Hallmark store and Bob’s Calendars and Games Emporium. And three Starbucks!  Wow!

Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine is always at the front of fashion trends and this time we are covering fashions that are IN and fashions that are weak.

Helene is IN!
hÉLÈnË is IN!

My first stop was a meeting with Nordstrom’s fashion director hÉLÈnË. (One name only – three accents)

She has some shopaholic debt that she is working off so she couldn’t afford a shirt, but she was wearing the IN item of the year: FUR (fake). She agreed to take me on a tour of her super duper store. (Could she have shaved her armpits? Really I mean, the pit hair was dark and blended into the vest, but please!?)

We toddled around the Point of Ew department and I learned that stripes are IN.

Stripes are IN
Stripes are IN

With the waist band around my neck and the shoulders a full foot taller than me, I think that, while IN, this look might be considered WEAK! It doesn’t matter that I am only 5 feet tall – that’s just not right.

hÉLÈnË took me to the Point of Zoo department next and informed me that FUR (fake) was the IN item this fall. Having never visited this department, I was very curious to see the IN fashions for animals.

Fur Scarf for a Horse is IN!
Fur Scarf for a Horse is IN!

Who knew?

Feather Boa for a deer is IN!
Feather Boa for a deer is IN!

Who knew?

Feathers for Frogs - IN!
Feathers for Frogs - IN!

Amazing!

And then we went to the Point of Pew department and, unfortunately, things got dicey!

hÉLÈnË took me to a particularly fragrant section of the store and showed me the latest IN fashions for humans.  Unfortunately, this intrepid reporter seems to be allergic to FUR (fake) and things began to turn for the worst. It started with a little watery eyes.

Black Fur is IN!
Black Fur is IN!

This Vinyl and FUR (fake) coat was hot – I mean I was pretty sweaty in this shot – and with the watery eyes came a dry mouth and an itchy nose.
.

Boots are IN!
Boots are IN!

This FUR (fake) vest was not as hot as the jacket, but this photo was taken right before the first big sneeze.  hÉLÈnË moved away a little and made a sour face.

She set me up with this next IN item, a stringy fur vesty thing, and she had me pose in front of a mirror real good for a super-fashionable photo.

Stringy Green Fur is IN!
Stringy Green Fur is IN!

As you can see a monster sneeze is about to happen and then the anaphylaxis began to set in. hÉLÈnË ran away in search of a towel for herself, and the last thing I remember was the fleeing site of her black armpit hair before I passed out on the cold store floor.

Fortunately, an innocent bystander ripped the FUR (fake) off of me in time and I was able to regain consciousness.

At that point I decided that perhaps I was just fashion weak and I snuck off before hÉLÈnË returned with a paramedic and the store’s security detail.

There was just a little shopping I had to do before I headed out…

Gift for Marvin's parents. IN!
Gift for Marvin's parents. IN!

Perfect for Myrtle and Myles Quixote’s 47th anniversary.

MEMO

To: Mavis Quinn

From:  Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

Message:  I said fashion WEEK!

MEMO

To: Editor – Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

From: Mavis Quinn

Message:  Oh, never mind.

Mavis Quinn @ Picasso’s Garage Sale

By Mavis Quinn, Cub reporter.

My latest assignment for Where Cuckoo (Wo)men Create Magazine .org.com.biz was to go to see some art made by a Spanish guy called Pablo Picasso.

A guy called Picasso
A guy called Picasso

I don’t know why I am covering this guy for the magazine, he doesn’t look cuckoo at all, right?

Because Picasso was a man, I was allowed to take my manfriend with me on the assignment.

Marvin Quixote
Marvin Quixote

A lot of you have been asking about my manfriend. So, with his permission, I will tell you. We have been stepping out for a few months now. His name is Marvin Quixote, and he is a transistor radio repair technician and antique toaster collector from Port Costa, California. He is very good to me. He lets me sit in the front of the tandem bike. He lets me win at Words With Friends on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And he even lets me read his Kindle over his shoulder. Sometimes. Together we enjoy exploring the bogs of northern Yorkshire, making rubbings of old grave stones and our netty pot club meetings.

The the art thing I was asked to write about was housed in a huge rusty can of a building called the M.H. de Young Museum, in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. From the look of the building, the initials M.H. must stand for Metal Ham.

Metal Ham
Metal Ham

There were quotes from the artist on the walls throughout the rooms. When we got into the show we were in a dank hallway and a sign told us that Picasso was a great collector of Picassos. This seemed a little strange to me when I began to look at all of his stuff. It was clear that what this guy had was all of his left over paintings that no one wanted to buy.

Guitar
Guitar

There were paintings with large unfinished sections. There were small piles of wood glued together with titles such as “Guitar” and “My Cat Fluffy’s Litter Box.” And there were some paintings that didn’t resemble anything I have ever seen before. I began to realize that, while I thought I was in a museum (as the sign outside says), Marvin and I had actually paid fifty dollars to attend Picasso’s garage sale and see everything that no one had wanted to buy. (It’s a good thing I have an expense account. Fifty Bucks!)

In preparation for this article I had done extensive research. I google searched Picasso’s paintings two times! And there was some good stuff. Each time I Googled I saw many colorful and wonderous things.

Good stuff
Good stuff

But half of what was in the show looked like it was painted with some left over beige house paint from his neighbors, the Brady Bunch. The other half was a grotesque jumble of arms, legs, eyes, pine cones, olives, and unmentionable “intimate” parts!

Art expert and animal rescuer
Art expert and animal rescuer

It’s not that I don’t appreciate art. I studied long and hard under the Late Bob Ross. I even got a squirrel baby and fed it corn cobs. I got a perm and made my hair like a giant brown pom pom.

It’s just that art should look LIKE something.

Which way is up, and do you care?
Which way is up, and do you care?

I just don’t know anyone whose heads come out of their toes and who have teeth like chicken’s feet and who have pine cones wedged deep in their laps. I mean look at this, really? Marvin kept asking me what those little olives were on their bums. Olives, I guess.

Playing ball (I think)
Those dots are olives (I think)

It’s not even like I don’t like art. I have several really nice paintings at home.

Harleyquinn Girl
Harley Quinn Girl

See?

Lil' Hi Ya Watha
Lil' Hi Ya Watha

See?

Lil' Alley Cattie
Lil' Alley Cattie

See?  Need I say more?

Then there was a quote from Picasso, way up high on the wall that read. “Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.”

Now I am thinking… maybe this guy is not so dumb after all. He made a bunch of paintings of really strange looking people and he got paid a TON of money. Then the people took it home and put it on their wall. Was it then that they realized the truth? It’s a pile of body parts, hen’s teeth, and pine cones that is really ugly!  Maybe?  But there was a no backsies policy, and I think that old Pablo laughed all the way to the bank.

The next room held this quote, “God is really only another artist…. He has no real style. He just goes on trying other things.”  Marvin and I had a talk about this. Was Picasso claiming himself to be just like God? Because he sure as cow dung just went on trying other things, or should I say other body parts, in different places.  Look at this…
Girl with striped chair and some strange head
Girl, striped chair and strange head

Who do you know that has an arm like that?  Coming out of her hip?

And something is wrong with her head, fo sho.

And in that quote he said ‘no real style’… hmmm.  Does he mean style like Clinton Kelley or style like Carson Kressley?  Those guys have style by the bucket load – think of the field day they would have with these two ladies (below)!

Two ladies running on the beach- not the S.I. Swimsuit edition
Two ladies running on the beach - not the S.I. Swimsuit edition

Hasn’t Picasso watched ANY reality television in the last decade?  EVERYONE knows you have to wear a “Good Bra,” for Pete’s Sake. And, people, accessorize, please! Picasso’s right – no real style going on here.

And what is going on here is beyond my comprehension – the Late Bob Ross didn’t prepare me for this…

This is just weird
That's just not right!

I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw this.

Marvin politely looked the other way.

But, the last quote up on the wall was a revelation. “Painting is stronger than me. It makes me do what it wants.” Now we were getting somewhere. The Late Bob Ross said this exact thing to me on so many occasions. “The painting will tell you what it wants. Maybe it wants a little stream here,” or “I think it wants a few little critter tracks here,” or even, “I think it wants a dead tree trunk right in the middle of this painting.”

The painting told Bob to put this dead tree right in the front
The painting told Bob to put this dead tree right in the front

And, like a lightning bolt had struck, I realized: this Picasso dude is the real deal. He is just like the Late Bob Ross. And that makes him OK in my book!

At this point Marvin turned to me and said, “I think I am having a hypoglycemic event.”

So we headed out to the cafeteria for a little soy chai tea and a quinoa tofu scone. And what did we find?

Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?

What the?

At this point I was outta there!

God bless, my friend
God bless, my friend

Editors note:  No art nor vegetable was harmed in making of this post. The opinions of Mavis Quinn, Marvin Quixote, Pablo Picasso and the Late Bob Ross are entirely their own business and do not in any way reflect the opinions of the management of this blog site. Except for the absolute need for the dead tree in the front of that painting!

Mavis Quinn @ Quilt Market – strange etiquette

Here I am, Mavis Quinn, at the world-famous Quilt Market – posting a report for Where Cuckoo Women Create .com.org.biz.

This spring Quilt Market is being held at the convention center in Salt Lake City.  It has been quite warm and the skies are clear.

Quilt Market is very exclusive and everyone who attends must prove, in advance of entering the convention, that they are worthy of admiration and that they really are cool and fascinating.  Or they must be from the media.

Upon arrival, each attendee is issued a pass that they wear around their neck.  It identifies who they are and what company they work for.  There is also a coolness rating.  It goes on a scale of 1 to 10.  1 – lowest to 10 – highest.

This lady has a coolness rating of 2, and therefore must be shunned.

Neck Badge example
Neck Badge example

There is a seminar that everyone must attend at the beginning of the show to learn neck-pass etiquette, but this cub reporter was stuck in a bathroom stall hiding from a celebrity quilter, who she had (once a long time ago) accidentally tripped.  The unfortunate quilting diva (coolness scale rating 9.5) fell into a koi pond and came up with some tadpoles in an awkward place, but that’s anther story.  So I missed the manners meeting completely.

I am not sure what to do now when I meet people at the show – do you look them in the eye and speak to them?  Do you look at them, introduce yourself, and then look at their name tag?  Do you just look at the name tag, make eye contact, smile, and speak?  Cub reporter found herself just looking at the chests of everyone she talked to.

Damn!  I wish I hadn’t missed that informative seminar.

So, the cub reporter set out to figure out where to look.

In the first aisle there was this!

Is this a boob?
Is this a boob?

Then in the next row, this!

Boob?
Boob?

But then I rounded a corner, knocked a 10-foot tower of thread all over several ladies in scooters and a man in a quilted vest, and ended up with my nose right in the center of this!

These boobs are three dimensional!
These boobs are three dimensional!

I kid you not, dreary readers, there was an actual BREAST quilt!

Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?

An actual naked lady with pink nipply buttons?

OK, I get it… When you meet someone, read their coolness rating to decide whether to be nice to them or not and then just look at their breasts!  Awesome!

I will explore more as the show progresses and get back to you – I didn’t know that quilters were so strange.

Can you believe that this image is all over the sidewalks as you leave the show?

Mammograms images on the sidewalks?
Mammogram images on the sidewalks?

But the clincher was dessert!?!

For dessert?
For dessert?

That’s just wrong!

Salt Lake City – Here I come!

The cub reporter, Mavis Quinn, is traveling to Salt Lake City in the morning to explore the world of the famous Quilt Market.  I will be reporting, of course, for Where Cuckoo Women Create.  Keep an eye out for my posts.

There have been reports that coffee might be in short supply, due to some reasons that I cannot go into because my editor says I can’t.

With that in mind, I have had new passport photos taken.  I am hoping that customs and officials will just think that the 5-gallon vat of coffee I am carrying on the plane is, in fact, just a part of my outfit and not strip me of my sustenance!

More to follow…

Mavis Quinn – my first quilt show, wow!

Mavis Quinn - undercover at the quilt show
Mavis Quinn - undercover at the quilt show

Here is another post from Mavis Quinn, cub reporter for Where Cuckoo Women Create .com.org.biz

Hello dreary readers… This weekend I was assigned to cover a quilt show in Benicia, California.  It was held in a small castle that, I believe, once was an insane asylum, and from the looks of things, might still be in operation.

What a thrill-er.

The weather was delightful and I made it over a big bridge and only clipped two cars in the lot while finding a parking spot.

The fun started at the door – the entry way was an immense medieval affair with a little door in it which lets the trolls out at night.

Castle door and troll door
Castle door and troll door

I stood in line for a while at the wrong table and almost bought a ticket to a quilter’s cruise on the Eerie Canal and to Three-Mile Island.

When I did finally get through security and had put my belt and shoes back on, I headed up the stairs.

I really loved the decorations in the stairwell – so Bijou.

Castle stairway - so Bijou
Castle stairway - so Bijou

The show was very nice, but I am not allowed to talk about that (by contract from my editor).

I was alarmed to turn a corner and find a photo taken of me at the beach.

Photo taken of me at the beach - damn the paparazzi!
Photo taken of me at the beach - damn the paparazzi!

Damn the paparazzi!  Now I know how Fergie felt when her toe-sucking photos were exposed.  Can’t a cub reporter enjoy some bikini time in private?

Moving on.

I was fondling a quilt – really salivating over the soft fabric and rubbing the nubbly quilting – I was just trying to get close to the work – and some lady in white gloves came up to me and scolded me.  I wish the editor had warned me that I wasn’t supposed to touch the merchandise!  Gees!

So, I scooted away and took stock of my surroundings.

Bars on the windows - to keep the cuckoo in!
Bars on the windows - to keep the cuckoo in!

I was relieved that there were bars on all the windows.  They clearly had to take measures to keep the cuckoo in!  Editor: glad to hear that!

As I backed up and took this photo, I guess I bumped into a pole.  Using it to steady myself, I began to fall backwards and ended up under a few of these nice quilts.  Some people rushed around and there was shouting, but don’t worry – I was mostly fine!  Just a sprained wrist and a scratch on my cheek mole.  Whew!

It seems I might have had a tiny part in knocking over a whole row of these nice blankies.  Well, the organizers might have thought about the public’s safety before they went and put up all this flimsy woodwork!  I will be putting in a worker’s comp claim for injuries sustained to some body parts during this attack by the evil quits!

Myrtle, guild treasurer - (foxy supermodel by night)
Myrtle, guild treasurer - (foxy supermodel by night)

So then these two ladies came up to me.  They introduced themselves and then consented to have their photos taken for my article.  They seemed really nice, and then…

Well, they asked how I was liking the show.  I noticed that they were walking me through the room and back to a small dark corner.

I thought that this would be a good opportunity to interview a couple of the inmates, I mean members, and I rifled through my editor’s notes to find a question for them.

Inga, guild ways and means committee chairperson
Inga, guild ways and means committee chairperson

“How do I join a guild like this,” I purred with all the suavite of Fabio on a date.

At this moment, Myrtle, guild treasurer by day and foxy suprmodel by night had a coughing fit.  I offered her some of my sardine-flavored gum for her throat and the next thing you know Inga, ways and means committee chairperson was coughing too!  I thought it might be contagious, and since, I have just recovered from malaria and the whooping cough from my last assignment to Borneo – don’t ask – ok, two words – tatoo, titties…

I turned to race out of there and ran right into the GUILD PRESIDENT!

Guild president
Guild president

At this point I have to say that I was entranced.  I felt like I had met my alter-ego.  I felt at home, at peace, strong – like I could lift a whole long armed sewing machine by myself.  I was, naturally, tongue tied and weak at the knees.  Her hair, her glasses, her fabulous jewelry, heaven!  The headband – will she make one for me?

I cannot tell you what happened next, what was said, what I did, as it is all a dream to me now.  I don’t know how I got back to my car or how I got home.  What I can tell you is that I will treasure the little spool of thread I found hanging from my necklace that I discovered tonight when I looked in the mirror.

This is Mavis Quinn walking on air and signing out…

Editor’s note: no quilts were harmed in the making of this article.  The Guild President might not be an actual person and is most likely a wall-hanging made by Valarie Macdonald, called Quilt Diva.  Editor trusts that the quilter will feel the love and not think too poorly of the cub reporter.

Where Cuckoo Women Create

Mavis Quinn
Mavis Quinn

This is a special report from Mavis Quinn, cub reporter for Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz

I recently had the pleasure of meeting with the amazing Maverick Quilter Alethea Ballard and seeing her wonderful house where she makes her exuberant quilts!

I had heard so much about these alleged exuberant quilts, and seeing them in person really was something else – Ouch! – sorry – I just tweaked my shoulder writing that.  (My arm is in a cast, as I took a bit of a fall getting into her sewing room – but that’s another story)

As a roving reporter for Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine.com.org.biz I am trained in all sorts of self-defense moves, first aid, and evasive manoeuvres, and, believe me when I say, I used them all on this visit!

Upon arrival at Alethea’s delightful home, I tripped over the front door, chipped a tooth, bumped into the couch that blocked the way, and I was directly  in the “State of the Art Sewing Center.”

State of the Art Sewing Center
State of the Art Sewing Center

Alethea does her custom “scribbly” quilting right by the front door on this sweet HQ 16 sewing machine.  Her delightful matching box and bag storage system from Le Back Dumpster in Cappuccino and Cafe O’Lay colors is just right for the decor of this area.  Versatile and fashion forward!  Alethea has acquired the latest in power systems in this amazing orange extension cord layout.

Just around the coffee table and beyond the Lay-Z-Boy is the office where Alethea’s books and patterns get written.

Modern Office
Modern Office

I felt privileged standing in this delightful sunny corner of the living room.  Of course, I couldn’t sit down – I mean, where would I?  I know Alethea is a short person, but does she really need three binders to sit on?  I spied more of the matching Caffe Latte-colored storage box system in use in the office area; such a great way to tie the two work areas together.  A delightful lamp was somewhere there on the desk, and, I believe, some fine art might have been on the walls behind some stuff.

At this point I took a quaalude and asked for a refreshment to help calm my nerves.

After a brief coffee break I used 200 joules from my portable External Defibrillator Device to shock my heart, as the mud Alethea calls coffee sent me into cardiac arrest or atrium fibberlation or something.  Following that, I was given a tour of the elusive sewing room.

Wow!  I mean OW!  Was I in for a treat!

At first, I couldn’t find the door behind all the piles of fabric in the hall, and then I had that accident I mentioned.  I was standing there all peaceful-like, and the next thing I knew I was a*s over t*ts and had dislocated my shoulder.  I then used my emergency shoulder sling to tie my arm to my body, and I was ready for the adventure called the Sewing Room!

Cutting Table and Open Floor Area
Cutting Table and Open Floor Area

The ceiling was adorned with colorful Chinese lanterns and the cobwebs draping them only added to the bijou feeling. The room has very handy design walls on three sides and each one is just layered with unfinished projects!  I mean layered – as in what the h**l!

I was able to see the convenient cutting/ironing table.  It’s that thing on the left there.  It is just the right height for ergonomic cutting and ironing.  You know, a maverick quilter does want to work comfortably!  And notice the inches of floor space available for someone to stand and cut.  We should all be so lucky to have that kind of work space!  And yes, music fans – that IS an accordion case there – don’t ask!

Corner Sewing Kiosk and Scrap Storage Area
Corner Sewing Kiosk and Scrap Storage Area

Alethea’s fabric is such a prominent feature of the room and her scrap strips were practically spilling out of their mocha-colored box.  Actually they were TOTALLY spilling out of the box.  Some got wrapped around my shoe and it took 10 minutes to free myself from the mess.  But this isn’t about me.

Speaking of fabric – there is nothing more inspiring than a well-organized fabric storage area.  Boy – what can I say about this?

Floor to Ceiling Fabric Storage System
Floor to Ceiling Fabric Storage System

It is DEFINITELY floor to ceiling – and more floor, too!  Wow – just think of all the quilts and stuff that can be made from all of this fabric!  I really can’t think about it because my head really hurts right now – but you, dear reader, go right ahead.

And lastly I come to the main design wall, and what can I say?

Cutting Edge Design Wall
Cutting Edge Design Wall

Are you kidding me?

I am heading out to my MRI now to see if they can find what is causing that ringing in my ears and the tunnel vision I have been having since my trauma, I mean special visit, to this unusual quilter’s home.

That’s all from Where Cuckoo Women Create Magazine .com.org.biz, I am Mavis Quinn stumbling off…